


As Long as the Earth Goes Around the Sun

by Simply0Suki



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 03:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply0Suki/pseuds/Simply0Suki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sherlock was a boy he loved everything about the stars. In fact lying on the roof with his mother to listen while she taught him all she knew about the world above used to be his favourite thing. But life changes unexpectedly and sometimes isn't more painless to simply 'DELETE'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Broken Family

Siger Holmes meant to be a good husband, a good father and live an honest life. True his life had been one of chaos, drinking and gambling but it all changed the day he met that blue eyed girl. It was love at first sight and with her help and motivation he turned his life around. An unexpected child only brought them closer and made the small family stronger by allowing her to make the choice to officially become his Ms. Holmes.

Yet life has its ups and downs and nothing goes as planned. Five years later there were now two small mouths to feed and no cash to spare. Mr. Holmes was working two jobs and Ms. Holmes had a part time job at the cafe but there was still barely enough to keep food on the table and a roof over their head. Ms. Holmes tried to make the best of it and was happy with their simple life so long as she had her small family to love. But the work got to Mr. Holmes. The stress built up and soon he was at the bar more than he was home. After showing up at work smelling of alcohol one too many times he no longer had any means to provide for his family.

One night he stumbled home only to find a dark house and a note on the table. For the sake of the children Mrs. Holmes had left. She hadn't said where she had gone only that she wished him well and would have given anything for it not to have end like this. There were a few notes on the table and she had written begging him not to spend it on alcohol. In a drunken rage Mr. Holmes knocked over the table and fell to the ground with his head in his hands as he sobbed for the loss of his only reason for living.

Ms. Holmes ran with her two children only five and one years of age to her sister's home. Her sister had always been the practical one who now lived with her fair off husband in a small home in the outskirts of the city. She had warned that Mr. Holmes was no good on the day they had met. She had begged her sister to end it and see what a lost cause the man was yet Mrs. Holmes had persisted willing herself to always see the best in him. She knew now that all that was awaiting from her sister was an 'I told you so' but she had nowhere else to turn. 

Mrs. Holmes rang the bell, her younger son in her arms while the other held tightly to her coat. They had one small suitcase with all she could afford to bring and her purse was around her shoulder holding the small amount of money she had saved.

The door was answered by her sister. There was a moment of silence as they both struggled to find words for sibling that hasn't been spoken for years. After what seemed like Ms. Holmes broke the silence with a simple "I'm sorry. You were right". Her sister asked them in and helped her settle the two boys into the twin bed in the spare bedroom. She hugged the sister she thought she would never see again. No "I told you so" but simply wanting to help her out of this horrible situation.

They talked for a while and were joined by the husband of the house. The homeless family of three was welcome to stay for the week but the house would soon be emptied as the misses and her husband moved to America following work's call. Ms. Holmes thanked them kindly for the short while to sort something out.

The week passed quickly. The two young boys were far too young to fully understand the situation but they laughed with their new found aunt and uncle. All too soon it was time to part ways. The house was packed up and the sisters embraced one final time before setting off their separate ways.

Ms. Holmes, with the help of her brother in law, had found a small room for rent. It was terribly small and in a horrible neighborhood but it was a roof over head and close enough to a bus stop so she could get to work.

They made it home with a small mattress that had been a gift from Ms. Holmes' sister which the two brothers shared while their mother took the beat up couch they had found on the curb. Due to her sister's move they had been given an old collection of books though they were much to advance for leisure reading along with a table and chairs which they couldn't take with them over the ocean. 

Their mother now had three jobs in order to keep them going. An old lady lived in the room down the hall from them and agreed to watch the two boys while their mother worked though it was hardly caring for them. At only five the older brother watched the younger while their caretaker smoked and watched TV or simply slept the day away.

Their arrangement was tough and often their mother would be seen crying when she thought the boys couldn't see her. Yet she still went by Ms. Holmes as if tribute to some small hope for the man who had helped her start this family.

They had each other, a broken family of three. Both boys matured faster than any child should have to. They went to the community school. Their mother provided the essentials for appearing normal. They always had on clean clothes though they only owned a few outfits. They had pencils for writing and paper for notes. Nothing fancy but it was what they could afford and the boys didn't mind. Both boys made friends though they were never allowed to invite them over to play for their mother was ashamed of how they lived. They did well in school both exceptionally bright for their ages.


	2. I Will Always Love You

Through the struggle Ms. Holmes still did her best to be there for her boys and show them the magic that was still possible in the world. On clear nights she would take her two sons up to the roof of their building with a blanket in hand. They would lie down and look up at the stars. She would tell them stories of rich kings in far off lands and for those brief moments they could forget where they were. They could escape together to the heavens. She would tell them that the stars looked the same no matter where you were or even who you were. They were there beautiful for all to enjoy be you poor or rich, boy or girl they would be there sure as the sun would rise. On these nights she taught them all she knew of the world above them; the names of the constellations and the planets, how the sky moved in orbits, and even the reason for the sun and moon rising and falling. These were their nights and even as the temperature dropped they were happy together. She taught them how the earth was actually moving around the sun and it just went to show that nothing is constant. Everything is constantly in motion and you never know what's going to happen next. It didn't matter what happened yesterday for tomorrow was different and who knew what the universe had in store. "If I could I would give you everything under the stars, from the sun to the moon to everything on earth," she would tell them as they lay beneath the dark sky. When the boys were both so tired they could hardly keep their eyes open she would walk them back to their room, both half asleep and clinging to her sides. She would tuck them into their makeshift bed and kiss them each on the forehead before leaving them to dream of being kings in palaces where they never wanted for anything.

One night as she turned to leave her younger son looked up with sleepy eyes. "Mother" he asked as he rubbed his eye with the back of his hand. "If I lived in a castle would you still be there?"   
She smiled softly and brushed his black curls away from his face. "If you want me to"  
"I always want you with me." He smiled contently as his mother brought the blankets up closer under his chin. He looked up at her again with his bright blue eyes "if I was a king would you still love me?"   
She gave a quite laugh "of course dear"  
"What if I was a bad guy and no one liked me?" He looked genuinely concerned for fear that his mother may not love him.  
She kissed his forehead again before saying "As long as the earth goes around the sun I will always love you. Even if I am the only one I will be there when you need me still loving you" With that she stood and turned off the light before whispering "Goodnight Dear" and left her precious children to sleep.


	3. The Other Kids Are Too....Ordinary

As young children are, for the first few years of school at least, the other kids didn't care that the Holmes boys often wore repeat outfits during the week, didn't have the latest designs on their back packs or even that they had smaller lunches than the other kids. The Holmes boys were fun to play with and that was enough even if they never did invite the other kids over after school.

As kids grow up though they find the need to be mean and pick on each other for being different. They started teasing the boys for their old out of style clothes and the lack of school supplies.

The young Holmes was in grade four when he found the other kids no longer fun to be around. One day when the bell rang to signal recess he walked up to his teacher's desk and asked if he could stay inside instead of going out to play. She was a young teacher only in her third year of teaching. She had taken a liking to the young boy and his quite brilliance. He caught on quickly and seemed like a sweet kid though he didn't talk to many people. She smiled kindly and asked him why he didn't want to go out and play. He explained it wasn't very fun outside and he would rather stay in and read. She didn't see why not and so he returned to his desk and pulled out his book. 

After a week of the young boy staying inside for break she walked over to his desk and took a seat beside him. "You know if the other students aren't being nice to you, you can tell me and I can try to fix it"  
He looked up from his book "it's fine. They're all a waste of time anyways"   
She looked at the book he was reading; Charles Dickens, great expectations. "That's an awfully advance book for your age."   
"It's okay it's not as difficult as it looks."   
She couldn't see how a boy so young could understand such a book. It was a beat up copy at that and she had no idea where he had come across it. "If you say so. Just remember if you ever need to talk I'm here" she stood up and returned to her desk.

The young Holmes was bored with his books. The small collection left by his aunt and uncle simply wasn't enough. He had read them all twice and with his memory he could recite the majority from memory. One day he saw his teacher preparing a craft for the afternoon and he walked up to her desk. "Do you need any help?"  
"Sure if you'd like I could use a hand." She smiled and passed him a pair of scissors and a stack of the sheets she was cutting out. "No more books to your liking?"   
He picked up the scissors and started cutting. "They've become kind of dull"   
She couldn't help smiling "most people say that after the first chapter but I suppose you're not most people." For that she earned an almost smile for the young boy. They spent the rest of the break talking and working and she even managed to get another smile out of him.

That became their new way to spend breaks. The young boy would help his teacher with whatever she needed and they would talk though she would have preferred he play with the kids his own age.

One day while they were passing back assignments onto the other children's empty desk. She asked him "what do you want to be when you grow up?"   
He thought for a moment has he put a paper down on a desk. "I think I'd like to be an astronaut."   
"An excellent choice, you're clearly smart enough. Any reason in particular?"  
He thought of the nights he spent with his mother on the roof. "It just seems simpler up there."   
She could see the longing and distance in his eyes as he continued "It seems quite and with the stars you can pretend to be anyone." 

That night as a concerned teacher she called concerning the younger Holmes boy.  
"Hello?" Ms. Holmes answered  
"Hello Ms. Holmes I'm your son's teacher. Sorry is this a good time? I'd just like a few words."  
"Yes, is everything alright with his schooling?"  
"Yes it's more than alright I suppose. He is an excellent student. I'm just a little worried about his social life."  
"Sorry is he causing problems?" Ms. Holmes was concerned. She had little time home with the boys and was afraid she may have missed something.  
"Not at all. He's a very quiet and polite boy. I'm just concerned that he may be being bullied. Has he told you anything?"  
"No he hasn't." She paused for a second considering how her son had been acting since the school year started but nothing unusual came to mind. "I know he likes to keep to himself. We're a little… short on cash, I'm was afraid there might come a day when the other kids would start teasing him but he hasn't shown any signs of being unhappy. In fact I'd have to say he's been more pleasant lately."  
"Well I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry to have bothered you, I don't usually make this sort of call but he is such a special boy and I'd hate for him to feel uncomfortable coming to school."  
"Not a problem, I appreciate your concern. I find I'm seeing less and less of my boys every day. You'll probably know him better than I do soon." Ms. Holmes gave a weak smile into the phone.  
"I hardly think that; just let me know if there's anything I can do to make things easier for him."  
"Thank you very much. If you wouldn't mind just keeping an eye on him, and feel free to call me at any time if you have any other concerns."  
"That I can do. I'll let you go now, goodbye Ms. Holmes"  
"Goodbye"


	4. The Christmas Everything Changed

The last day before Christmas finally came and as the other children ran out to their freedom the young Homes took his time with packing his things. He walked over to his teacher's desk and placed a small homemade ornament. It was a star folded out of paper with a thin silver string to hang by. She smiled and picked it up to hang on her bulletin board. "ThankYou. I have something for you" she opened her desk drawer and pulled out a book with a red bow on the top; The adventures of the Hardy boys. "Thought you should give light reading a try. It's a detective story so you'll get to use that brilliant mind if yours."  
"Thank you" he picked up the beautiful book. One of the few new things he had ever owned.  
"Merry Christmas Mr. Holmes" she picked up her coat. "I think it's time we all head home for the holidays"

Christmas for the Holmes was nothing special. Ms. Holmes worked long hours over the holidays to earn some extra money for gifts. On Christmas Eve she arrived home an hour before midnight. Her boys were old enough now that the older could look after the younger without the help of the old lady in their building. This night she went to their room to kiss them goodnight, both sleeping on the mattress that was far too small for them. As she brushed the dark curls away from the face of her younger son he opened his eyes sleepily. "Merry Christmas" she whispered.  
"Mom" he rubbed his eyes. "Can we go up to the roof?"  
She was exhausted from working but she couldn't deny her son on Christmas Eve. "Sure. I'll grab the blanket." 

Together they walked up into the cold December air and lay together to look at the brilliance above them. "We started learning about space in school." He said to his mother.  
"Did you learn anything to teach your mother?" She rested her cheek on his soft curls.  
"You can see Venus on some nights. And even Mars on others. And there are some nights when the moon goes red." He spoke excitedly about the new knowledge of their special world. "Really? We'll have to keep our eyes peeled for that." That lay in silence for a while both lost in thoughts.  
"You were right" he said as he turned his head to look up at her. "The earth does go around the sun. I didn't think it was possible."  
"And as long as it does I will always love you." He cuddled closer to her never wanting to leave this place.

Christmas morning and the two boys emerged from their room and woke up their mother who was sleeping on the couch. "What is there something special about today?" She teased them. They went to the kitchen where she made them a special breakfast of pancakes. She had even bought a small bottle of maple syrup. She went to where she had hidden the gifts and came back with two boxes. The younger Holmes opened his to find a new jumper. Underneath was a book she had found a second hand book shop on the stars. The cover was navy blue with a pattern of gold stars. Inside the cover she had written 'As long as the earth goes around the sun I will always love you'. The older Holmes had a Christmas jumper as well, a brand new backpack and a deck of cards.

The two Holmes spent the break, while their mother was at work, either playing cards or more often the older played cards by himself while the younger had his nose buried in his books, both the one from his teacher and the one from his mother. 

The younger Holmes looked up the weather for the week in the paper and New Year's Eve was to be a perfectly clear night for stargazing. His mother promised to take him up to the roof when she got home from work though by that time it would be three in the morning.

At three he was sitting up eagerly waiting for his mother. He had the blanket beside him and was watching out the window. Four o'clock came and still no sign of his mother. He was still watching out the window when instead of his mother a police car with flashing lights pulled up. Slightly frightened he backed away from the window when there was a knock on the door. He hesitated before opening it. Two police men in uniform were standing there. "We're going to need you and your brother to come with us." He nodded and went to wake his brother. They pulled on their coats and followed the men to their car.

Next thing they knew the two confused boys were sitting in a police station talking to a lady in uniform with an annoyingly nice voice. She was explaining to them that their mother had been mixed up in a heist that had resulted in the death of a man. She had been part of a group that had broken into a jewelry store though the owner had come back to grab something and found them so they had shot him. The older Holmes boy spoke for the first time. "We want to see our mother."  
The lady gave a smile that was overly cheery for the situation. "You will have a chance to say goodbye. And don't worry we'll be there to make sure nothing happens."

They were taken to a room where their mother was in hand cuffs. Her eyes brightened at the sight of them and they could tell she was trying to hold back the years. "My boys I'm sorry." She didn't know what would become of them. "Can I hug them one last time?" Tear we're starting to form in her eyes as she asked the officer. He hesitated before nodding. They went to her side but her cuffed hands she could do little. She kissed her older son's head. "Stay strong. You're the head of this family now. You've always been so mature. Look after yourself and him for me. I love you" she turned to her younger son. "Don't remember me this way" she whispered into his curls as he hugged her close. "I didn't kill anyone, he was screaming, I was trying to help him"  
"That's enough" the officer pulled the two boys away. "This isn't who I am. Try to find a way to love me and remember me as any way before tonight." The tears were streaming down her face now. She knew she was too poor to afford a lawyer to prove her innocence. No one would believe the poor lady who was obviously looking to get rich quick. "As long as the earth goes around the sun" the youngest Holmes had spoken for the first time and his eyes were filling with tears as his eyes were locked on his mother's. She gave a small forced but reassuring smile. "Goodbye boys" with that they were ushered out of the room.

The rest of the night was a hectic blur of trying to work out what to do with the two boys. No family was reachable and so it was settled the boys would go to foster care. They were to stay in a homeless shelter for kids until a home could be worked out.

The younger Holmes retreated even further than before into himself and his books. He was haunted by the thoughts of his mother knowing she was suffering somewhere without anyone to prove her innocence.


	5. DELETE

When school resumed he went back to his routine though at break. He stayed at his desk and read his book his mother had given him. His teacher had been told the situation of the Holmes boy and hoped they had become close enough that she may be able to talk to him. She hoped it would prevent him from bottling everything up inside. She walked over to his desk and took a seat beside him, "Another book on the stars for our future astronaut?"   
"I changed my mind. I'm going to be a detective."   
She was surprised. "Oh really. Like the hardy boys?"   
"I'm going make sure the truth is found and the innocent don't get taken away." His voice was angry and his eyes were wet with tears.   
"Hey it's ok" she put a hand on his arm but he pulled back   
"no it's not! She's innocent and they took her. It was obvious she wasn't lying, she was innocent and they still took her those bloody idiots!" He put his head on his desk in his arms to hide his tears.   
She didn't want him to pull back but she put her hand on his back. She stroked his hair trying to comfort him. "She'll be okay. She's strong. Wherever she is she's thinking of you and would want you to be happy"   
He brought his head up to look at her "how can I be happy when everything reminds me of her?"   
She thought for a minute considering how best to respond. "Try not thinking of bad memories. Just the good ones. When something reminds you of her think of a good memory."   
He considered her words "I'll try I guess."   
She gave a reassuring smile. "The offer still stands I'm here to talk if you need me." The bell rang to signal classes to resume. She stood and he looked up at her. "Thank you" he gave her a quick, unexpected hug before whipping his eyes.

That night the younger Holmes lay in his bed awake. He thought of what his teacher had said that day. His mind was perfectly organized all in little boxes. His eyes were closed as he brought the box containing his memories of his mother to the front. First he brought out the memory of her in the police office. Delete. And it was gone. But then he thought of when he had seen her cry after a call to her sister and the memory of the police station was back. He wished his brain was more of a computer so when something was deleted it was truly gone not simply moved to the recycling bin to be resurfaced later. He deleted all memories of his aunt and her interaction with his mother and again it looked clear. But then he thought of the old books under his bed which brought back to the memory of their uncle and thus their aunt and he almost cried out at the pain of the police office memory forcing its way back into his head. In a fit of anger he deleted everything related to his mother. Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete. His heart and head hurt and he felt empty inside. He opened his eyes. Everything was gone that could possibly relate to his mother and packed into a box to be soved away and never to be opened. Like a deep dark corner that he could never access. His memory felt small due to it but at least his heart didn't hurt with the pain he had been feeling since his mother had been taken, instead it felt empty. Except...he looked out the open blinds at the dark sky. 'As long as the earth goes around the sun I will always love you'. He thought of their nights on the roof and silent tears streamed down his face. Delete. It was gone. Everything to do with his mother. His only weakness, the only one who could make him feel so horrible inside. He had damaged a corner of his mind permanently. Sure he knew he had a mother and a father but the brilliant young boy and forced his mind to forget everything about them. Mr. and Mrs. Holmes were lovely people but had been forced to leave their children for foster care and that was all he knew.

The next day in school there was a pop quiz on the space unit. At break the teacher was marking it and was puzzled by the Holmes' answers. She brought it over to his desk where he was reading. "Very funny but even detectives should know more about space. You don't have to be an astronaut for that." She set it on his desk and pointed to the first question.

Draw a diagram of the universe including the orbits of all planets, the moon and sun where applicable.

The youngest Holmes had drawn the earth in the center with the sun and moon going around it while the remaining planets were scattered around with no orbits at all.

He looked it over. "Sorry I don't see anything wrong with it."

She laughed softly thinking he was joking. "Right because you don't know the earth goes around the sun. This the boy who was rolling his eyes at the questions asked by the other students while I was teaching that the sun is the centre of the universe."

"Sorry must have deleted it." He looked back to his book

"Sorry?" She began to realise that the young boy wasn't joking. She spoke softly not trying to sound accusing as she attempted to understand what was going on inside the mind of the broken boy in front of her. "Why would you delete that?"

"It makes no difference to me whether the earth goes around the sun. It could go around Pluto for all I care." He still hadn't looked up from his book as if all the days they had spent together getting to know each other hadn't happened. He looked as distant as ever absorbed in the book, a boy broken by the loss of his mother and left an empty shell.


	6. Sentiment

"Where did you get that?" A 35 year old Sherlock Holmes sat in his chair in the flat. He looked at the book his friend was holding, for some reason thinking he had seen the blue cover somewhere.

"Your brother dropped it off. Thought it was yours though clearly it's not. I mean it's on the stars, probably your least favorite topic." John Watson teased him as he looked over the book.

"I….I think that is mine" Sherlock couldn't understand where he had seen the book before or why he couldn't remember clearly. He stood and held out his hand for the book.

"Well you could use some time to brush up on this area of your knowledge." John handed it to him.

"I need to be alone" Sherlock retreated to his room and sat on his bed the book in his hands. The cover was faded but like something from a dream he remembered reading it years ago. He hadn't seen it in ages, hadn't ever looked for it. The back of his mind tingled as if remembering something he couldn't quite place. A gift? Why couldn't he remember? His brain was trying to make connections but every time he tried to focus on something familiar it would be gone like a ghost. 

He opened it and read the words on the inside cover.

'As long as the Earth goes around the sun, I will always love you'

Those few words did it. Sherlock doubled over in pain as if someone were ripping him apart. His hands went to his head which ached like someone forcing him to stretch on old scar. The pain was excruciating and he groaned as the box that had been locked away for so many years was opened. 

"Sherlock are you alright?" A concerned John could be heard at the door.

"Go Away!" He yelled both at John and the memories taking over his mind.

All the memories of his mother came flooding back. His eyes filled with tears as he remembered the reason for him caring so little of the stars. He was taken back to that moment when he stood saying good bye to his mother for the last time. Memories are funny things; every time you access them they fade and alter slightly. But these ones were perfectly intact, after all these years of being hidden they were as clear as the day they had happened. For a moment the man was lost simply fighting to not be over whelmed by the bottled up emotions. 

For the first time in a long while he felt the warmth of tears falling down his face. His mother who so many years ago had been forced to leave him. He hadn't thought of her for ages. What had become of her? And his father, where was he now? For so long he hadn't given a thought to his family, had viewed them as uninteresting and simply irrelevant to his present work. He remembered sitting as a boy that night he had locked it all away. The pain it had caused him then and the now the pain that he had been trying to avoid was taking over him simply because of one line of handwriting in a long forgotten book. 

For a moment Sherlock sat letting his emotions take over him and feeling what it was like. This is what it was like for ordinary people who let their emotions have free reign over their thoughts. Unnecessary amounts of pain that would do nothing to bring his mother back, even the young fourth grade Sherlock had been able to see that much. 

After a while Sherlock focused his mind and pushed his thought back together. Again they were locked away and the numbing feeling returned as his feelings of sentiments were locked away too. He looked down at the book in his hands, the trigger to accessing those memories. He took a moment to compose himself and wipe the tears from under his eyes quickly before standing and straightening his shirt. He took a deep breath confident that he was back together and carried the book to the living room. 

John was busy doing something in the kitchen and didn't see as Sherlock returned to the living room. He looked down at the faded blue cover running his hand over it one last time before throwing it into the lit fireplace. He watched as the flames greedily licked at the pages and grew to surround the old book. 

"Sherlock? What are you doing?" John was standing behind Sherlock, a cup of tea in his hands. 

"Some things are meant to stay in the past" His eyes were still glued on the flames, his hands in his pockets as he stood motionless in front of the fireplace. "This book has shown me more than ever that sentiment is weakness. It is simply childish memories of when a boy was able to dream of being someone else. There comes a day when we all must accept that we won't grow up to be a brave knight or an astronaut. We all have that day when we learn we must grow up and put our childish thoughts behind us to become a part of society. That book was lost long ago for a reason and there is no point in revisiting the past just for the sake of sentiment." Sherlock finally turned when the cover was black, the book now unrecognizable. He sat in his chair and pressed his hands together under his chin.

John sat in his chair opposite Sherlock unable to understand what his friend had just gone through. "Did you learn anything from the book at least? I mean before you burned it. Or does the earth and the universe still revolve around you in that mind of yours?"

Sherlock had been staring off into space moved his eyes to John. "The earth goes around the sun John always has and always will."


End file.
